Clinton, Moore to Partner on "Me"

Fleming Fajot, Entertainment Buzzer
Wednesday May 12, 2004

Hollywonk, CA (BNN) - If I was a tree, I would know I was in Mortal Peril because William J. "Motorfist" Clinton's titanic tome Me, Myself and I - The Greatest President EVER!, at 900 pages, is currently consuming treeflesh at a rapid pace in order to give the New York Times a new bestseller to tout.

If I was a blank recordable DVD, I'd have something to dread besides being used as a repository for the last episode of American Idol.

The buzz is that Acclaimed Imaginary Documentarista Michael Moore was Clinton's first choice for the movie rights because he's the only producer/director capable of funneling spin like Bill's onto film. Bill will be playing himself in the title role and further, he insisted on doing all his own Oval Office stunts.

Other casting moves have Rebecca De Mornay playing the former First Lady, Britney Spears as Chelsea, Jennifer Coolidge (American Pie's Mrs. Stifler) as Tipper and a potted red oak as Algore. Negotiations are underway to have the role of Donna Shalala filled by Rosie O'Donnel and Janet Reno will be played by Sylvester Stallone since Arnold Schwarzenegger is unavailable. The highly coveted role of Monica Lewinsky, sure to by a favorite for Best Supporting Actress, is being pursued by both Dixie-Chunk Natalie Maines and Madonna. The soundtrack will be provided by Barbra Streisand and Madonna.

Moore's own work has been deferred while he generates free publicity for his most recent objective patriotic ouvre Fahrenheit 911 - The Temperature at Which American Flags Burn.

- 30 -

"The Bogæity Newsance Network" and "BNN" ©2001-2004 and are the intellectual property of Schmedulov Jostikovitch. Unarthurized use is not arthurized unless specifically arthurized in writing by schmed, or certain Arthurs designated in writing by said schmed.

Comments

[rockynoggin]

Well, nobody can accuse Bill Clinton of being "self-serving" *wink* *wink* *nudge* *nudge*

[GrumpyBunnette]

LOL! You are hysterical!

janet reno will be played by sylvester stallone...that's great!

I think Jessica Simpson should have a role. Perhaps the democrapic-voting public at large?

[schmed]

The casting is just a goldmine of potential hilarity, doncha think?

Jessica could be that 5,000 year-old mummified queen Bill lusted after that time.

I'm wondering who'll pick up the deal on his inaction figures (Bill Clinton as FECKLESSMAN! blowing up a camel; Hellary as AMNESIA!-The Woman with Predictably Bad Memory; Monica as EUREKA! (it's tres sic, think about it)).

[Bruce]

Sasquatch as Janet Reno
Zelda Rubinstein (Poltergeist) as Donna Shalala
Beasley the Dog (Turner and Hooch) as Chelsea

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