A Convention Movie Must: I, Dembot™

Fleming Fajot, Entertainment Buzzer
Wednesday July 19, 2004

HolyWank, CA (BNN) - Before the applause began to fade away from the opening weekend of Will Smith's I, Rboot I, Robot, the maker of the most recent, critically acclaimed, virulently anti-American smashit “Foreignhype 911 – The Temperature at Which the American Flag Burns,” dreckumentarist Michael Moore flagrantly rips it off with another clotbuster: I, Dembot™.

CONTAINS SPOILERS

The movie portrays the ideal political world sought by modern, neo-populist Democrats in 2004 where three primary laws govern their actions:

1. A Dembot™ may not defund an Entitlement Program, or, through inaction allow a Government Bureaucracy to be reduced.
2. A Dembot™ must create regulations to be obeyed by human beings, except where such regulations would be sensible or conflict with the First Law.
3. A Dembot™ must protect its own existence through liberal use of the First and Second Laws, and fair taxation.

Trouble ensues when some in the citizenry go berserk and rebel against the benevolent Dembots™. During their struggle, the Non-Compliers discover the internecine division in the Dembot™ leadership. Algore stars as an Alpha Dembot™ who insists the Non-Compliers must be demonized while Glenn Close portrays a rising junior Dembot™ Senator whose grand vision has Government caring for the wants and needs of every village. The legendary two-headed acting Llama, Pushmepullyou, comes out of retirement to play the small but necessary part of the Kerreddy Dembotic™ Presidential Ticket.

Ted Nugent and Tom Selleck are outstanding as leaders of allied Non-Complier factions who outwit and outmaneuver the Dembot™ minions at the crucial juncture.

Look for strong performances by Steve Buscemi as Dembotic™ Senate Plurality Leader Tom Dasshole, Mike Farrell as Patprick Layhme, Dembot™-Vt., and Danny Glover as Queasy Inflamay, a private sector Dembot™ operative. In deference to the sensitivities of the People who Eat Tiny Animals, the part of Dembotic™ political advisor James Carville will be played by an animatronic diamondback rattlesnake.

Sean Penn will contend for an Oxcar® in his climactic role as the revisionistic über-Dembot™, Slick-Willie. The filmmaker himself cameos as Ted "Sotbot" Kennedy, a founding member of the Alpha Dembots™ and Executive Grand Schemer of the Dembotic™ Central Society, while Mary Jo Kopechne stars as herself.

John Coward-Mellencamp provides the opening theme in a duet featuring the singing talents of Whoopsie Goldbush.

This film was unfairly rated “R” (wRetched) for incomprehensible logic, rash assumptions and the use of crude language beyond the fringes of audience comprehension.

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Comments

[rockynoggin]

Somehow I thought Optimus Prime would figure in...

[GrumpyBunny]

Criminey. I didn't know about Buscemi. I really like(d) him too.

"fair" taxation? I thought is was just taxation. Oh, AND vote themselves raises as frequently and for as many dollars as they can get away with. And not have to participate in SS.

[schmed]

I probably should've disclaimed that I didn't research the polictics of Buscemi OR Pushmepullyou, but either way, he's just a natcheral to play the saddened senior senator from SoDak, and though Pushmepullyou is/are collectively far more sensible than the actual Kerreddy ticket, it is again a natcheral fit.

[dave]

I was just forced to see I, Robot by my employer. They rented the theater for a department meeting and then made us stay and watch the movie. Glad I didn't have to spend any of my own money on that crap.