Saturday night, I had occasion to listen to LSU's football game at South Carolina on the radio. I like watching the Tigers play on TV or even better, live and in-person, but I've enjoyed listening to games on the radio since I was a little kid. I even had to learn how to convert audio-text into mental images throughout the entire John Ferguson era.
Mr. Ferguson was famous for calling the play-by-play out-of-sync with things - often things like reality. My Grandfather would occasionally rant about his inaccuracies and opined a fair probability they might be alcohol related. I learned to wait for the sound of the crowd before mentally locking down the results of any big play. A couple of John Ferguson classics (paraphrased):
Bert Jones brings the Tigers up to the line on 1st and ten... Jones hands to Cantrelle who pushes ahead for nine yards... It'll be 2nd and nine for LSU...The sound of the crowd murmuring (at home) or cheering (away) let me know if Cantrelle got one or nine yards and that the pass intended for Ledoux wasn't successful....a pass downfield to Ledoux and he's got it at the Ole Miss 22... no, incomplete... it's INTERCEPTED!
Since Mr. Ferguson hung up his mic and passed the play-by-play chair to Jim Hawthorne several Head Coaches ago, things aren't necessarily better, just different.
During LSU's opening possession of Saturday's game, the Tigers are driving and past midfield when Coach Saban makes a substitution at tailback who gets in a great play (paraphrasing):
Into the game at tailback is number 22, Ali Landry... Mauck gives to Landry who breaks a tackle INTO THE SECONDARY... Ali Landry brings it down inside the TEN YARD LINE!...John Ferguson would've been so proud.
Mr. Hawthorne's color man, former LSU Great and Baton Rouge District Attorney Doug Moreau, didn't say a word about Jim's faux pas, he simply used the running back's correct name, Alley Broussard, in his inter-play comment. I'm sure Mr. Moreau, like many others listening in got this mental image of former Miss America, Ali Landry:
Can't you just picture her trotting down the sidelines in her bikini, heels and Miss America Tiara, tossing Doritos at approaching tacklers?
I'll give you a minute...
...You're welcome.
For your reference, here is picture of Mr. Broussard in action (which links to his roster page at LSUsports.net).
Other than the fact that he's from Lafayette, LA, which is near Miss Landry's hometown of Breaux Bridge, you'll note he has very little in common with, much less any resemblance to, the former Miss USA.
Nonetheless, it turned out to be a prophetic Freudian slip on the shabbiness of the South Carolina Gamecock defense which gave up 482 yards in offense...
...A team that let Miss America rip off a 33 yard run.
In Mr. Hawthorne's defense, his wife left him for another woman. That can mess a man up for a long time. But everyone knows that Ali Landry played for ULL (formerly USL).
Posted by: Bruce "CC" Cents | Monday, October 20, 2003 at 10:41 AM
And ULL is 1-7 this season, so maybe they dress out a lot of women.
Posted by: schmed | Monday, October 20, 2003 at 10:45 AM
I don't know if they dress like women at ULL but if Mr. Hawthorne had, his wife might've stuck around.
Posted by: Bruce | Monday, October 20, 2003 at 12:21 PM
This has photoshop written all over it. Just wait til I get home.
I didn't know Hawthorne's wife jumped ship. Was she pissed about the whole Jack Hunt fiasco from last year's Kensucky game?
Posted by: dave | Monday, October 20, 2003 at 12:45 PM
They were neighbors of mine growing up. Ms. Hawthorne taught gym (not kidding) at Tara High. They divorced in the 1980s. He may have remarried by now.
Posted by: Bruce | Monday, October 20, 2003 at 02:19 PM
To my knowledge he is still single. One of my friends works for him, so I get to hear all the stories. However, most the stories I hear is about his daughter. She is a stripper - I'm sorry exotic dancer - turned call girl.
Posted by: TigerGrrL | Monday, October 20, 2003 at 02:42 PM
I went to middle school with a girl related to him. Not sure if it was a daughter or niece or what. What's the ho's name?
Posted by: dave | Monday, October 20, 2003 at 02:45 PM
Y'all behave and stick to facts or football. I don't pander to no slander and don't wanna be liable for no libel.
Posted by: schmed | Monday, October 20, 2003 at 02:48 PM
Mandy?
Posted by: Not Bruce, he wouldn't slander anyone | Monday, October 20, 2003 at 03:18 PM
Mandy the call girl?
For $50, she'll come and she'll give without taking. For another $50, she'll kiss you and stop you from shaking. Then you can just send her away when you're done.
[/lame]
Posted by: Dave | Monday, October 20, 2003 at 08:34 PM
I got halfway done with the photoshopping. I'll post it tonight.
Posted by: dave | Tuesday, October 21, 2003 at 09:31 AM
You know, I'm not sure what her name is. Whenever I hear stories about her, my friend usually starts with "You're not gonna believe what Jim's daughter, 'Tricks', did."
I have a Trix cereal T-shirt ("silly rabbit, trixs are for kids!") and threatened to wear it to a ball game one time. heh heh heh.
Posted by: TigerGrrL | Wednesday, October 22, 2003 at 09:45 AM