I was going to entitle this "What Time is it When Your Microwave Trips the Circuit-Breaker Three Times While the Bacon's Cooking?" but it was both too long and too obvious: time to get a new MICROWAVE!
This wouldn't be remotely noteworthy except that we've had this particular Amana® Radarange® since about 1986. It was nearly $500. It's as big as a 20" TV. It arrived before before Guido (in the old Mug), so all the sentimentalists around here are in flutter. Guido just wants a way to nuke chicken nooble soup and exploding mini-raviolis without covering 'em.
We got it as a sort of present from my Dear Sweet Wife's parents. They got two and couldn't use the second one. They still have the first one. My mother-in-law is famous for that sort of trick, stereotypically buying some huge hunk of "a really nice" ham, then stopping by on her way home (across town mind you) and realizing it was about 4 pounds more than she really needed and could we take some of it? Sure, anything I can do to help out.
This was back in the days when creeps used to actually steal microwaves when they burgled. "Yes officer, they took the TV, the video-cassette recorder and the Radarange®." All that stuff probably ran $1500.
Imagine some fool burgling the Giant Mug and making off with my 40 pound Radarange®...
Burgle: (grunting and oofing) GRUNT! OOOF! Man this microwave heavy.(Later at Finster's Fencing and Hot Goods...)
Finster: Fool! What I want with a 20 year-old mi-cro-wave? I ain't seen anybody try to fence a microwave in fifteen years. And look - it still got exploded mini ravioli all over inside. Get that junk out of here!
Burgle: Where I'm gon' get rid of this thing?
Good quextion. Me, I'm gonna simply place it on the curb tonight and see if BFI gets to it before the guy in the rusty brown van. Since the BFI guys have been hustling over here every garbage day by dusk, the odds are with Mr. Rusty Van Brown.
I'm taking the light bulb out of it though.
You could just put it in the attic with the old Betamax you were going to get fixed one day. You know, it's next to the Commodore 64, behind the 8-Track.
Posted by: rockynoggin | Sunday, July 11, 2004 at 09:11 PM
BTW - my BFI guys have been showing up late in the evening also. And the guy in the rusty brown van doesn't come to my neck of the woods anymore... must be better junk in your hood.
Posted by: rockynoggin | Sunday, July 11, 2004 at 09:14 PM
I keep the βetamax-replica in a closet out of the extreme heat. Didn't have a Commodore 64, but Guido still whips up on the original Mario Brothers and this Techmo NFL game that has Thurman Thomas at RB for the Bills.
And not that I'm frugal in the extreme or anything, but this 7 year-old kerosene-powered PC I'm typing all this on is still on Win95 for pete's sake. That stuff was 'spensive!
Posted by: schmed | Sunday, July 11, 2004 at 09:27 PM
Windows 95?!!! That's no way to live! At least get yourself an eMachine. Think of the schmedlets.
Posted by: Tvindy | Monday, July 12, 2004 at 12:33 AM
No, don't upgrade - at least until next year and then you can tell everyone how you're running a 10 year old OS.
Posted by: rockynoggin | Monday, July 12, 2004 at 06:53 AM
I put an egg in the microwave back in high school, just to see if it would really splode. It did. Nuking some silverware also produced interesting results.
Ya know what's cool about some of the newer microwaves? Can put metal stuff in em' and it won't summon any demons or anything. I can't wait for the day I can throw the trusty black iron skillet in the mickey to heat up some homestyle chow.
Posted by: dave | Monday, July 12, 2004 at 10:53 AM
In my old neighborhood, you could put something on the curb and it would be gone within five hours. Just too many people shopping for "dumpster treasures". Now that we live in haughty-taughtyville, stuff will sit out there all week until the city comes. People out here in the suburbs just have too much shame.
That being said, I can't believe you're not going to wrap a Spaghetti-Os can in tin foil and turn the dial to fission soup.
But, keep the bulb. By all means, keep the damn bulb. ;)
Posted by: Kevin | Monday, July 12, 2004 at 07:03 PM
For a really good time, put a can of spray paint in there, and run an extension chord out to your neighbor's front yard, crank it up, and run.
Assuming, of course, your neighbors don't like you.
Posted by: MetallicaRat | Monday, July 12, 2004 at 09:12 PM
Or perhaps your neighbors DO like you, and you'd like them to stop right away.
Posted by: dave | Monday, July 12, 2004 at 09:23 PM
5 hours - our neighborhood (which is quickly being taken over by illegals) - 1-2 hours more like. Sheesh.
Schmed - $500 was lots of dough, but look how long it lasted. I believe we're on 'wave #3 in almost 14 years.
It's bullocks that it's cheaper to replace than fix nowadays.
Posted by: GrumpyBunny | Tuesday, July 13, 2004 at 11:55 AM